It's A Great Life To Live

my first post had their picture in it..





Zoo Melaka Trip - Jan 2005

You were destined to have a Red Lightsaber.

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is
associated with energy, war, danger, strength,
power, and determination as well as passion and
desire. You have seen the Strength and Power of
the Dark Side of the Force and have you thirst
for more of it.


What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

..muahahahahaha!!!!

warning: this post is the result of the writer's frustration due to missing her bodyjam class for over a month!.. demmmmmmm!!!!

i've a friend that is faced with a win-lose situation.. she had to choose between two choices.. at first glance, i thought it didn't look that complicated.. i mean, just pick one choice and you're done with it.. easy, right? but it's not as straight forward.. i'm not going to talk about her problem, though..

let's say..

you need to make a choice.. whether to eat out or to cook? looks easy and straight forward but there are deeper thoughts you must go through before you arrive to conclusion - which is your choice.. there are many perspectives that you should consider, based on your priority or on how you behave, your culture and your take on life... i'll try to demonstrate..

(1) let me list the perspectives first: price, storage, quantity, quality - including taste, smell, environment,... etc. the list go on..
(2) and then there are things that influence your perspectives: your priority, behaviour, emotion, sensibility, philosophy, culture.. etc. the list can also go on..

so

if i choose to eat out, i must consider items (1), the perspectives, like do i have the money?..what do i feel like eating?.. where do i want to eat?...and in arriving at this decision, i will answer the questions of the perspectives based on items (2).. i.e. i'll eat out because it's better than cooking - i'll save time and money.. i'll eat at the restaurant because i like the ambience.. i'll eat at that particular stalls because the food is very nice - regardless of the surrounding..

similarly:

if i choose to cook, i must consider items (1), like do i have the facilities? stove, pots and pans, rice cooker, etc.. do i have the time? will i save more if i cook than if i eat out? can i guarantee that my cooking is edible? do i have storage to keep leftover food?.. and to make the decision, i will have to think about items (2), say, my mom always cook.. so i get used to home-cooked meals.. or maybe, i'm cooking for five mouths, it's more economical.. i'll cook because i care what people around me think - anak dara takkan la tak masak.. or prefer to eat at home..

so, based on your items (1) and (2) you'll arrive to conclusions.. and in doing so, you might not have it all i.e. there are inevitable shortcomings in your decision...like, i'll eat out because i don't have a stove at home... but the restaurant serves very good food and provide the ambience that i like.. so i don't mind paying a little bit more or driving for some time to get to the stall.. OR i'll cook because i have the facilities and i'm a very good cook even though i'm cooking for my own self and it's not very economical..

okay.. why, you ask, can't the examples have perfect solutions? like i'll eat out because i live alone and the stall is very near my house and food is very good and cheap.. because my rambling is based on my friend's win-lose situation..so, i need to create a win-lose examples loh...

so, in arriving to the conclusion, in a win-lose situation, it's not a straight forward process.. we have to consider the perspectives of our situations to make desicions... and in making decision, items (2) will influence you.. like your upbringing, your rationality, your family that shaped you, your logic and reasoning, your priority blah blah blah... but you'll have to remember that what you think is best, might not be the best for you.. or vice-versa.. that's why you need tawakkal when your have decided on you choice.. kita merancang, Allah menentukan..

< announcement >
*overwhelmed with SMS.ac's invitations*

ehem.. ehemm...

please be advised not to add me to your SMS.ac account because i have already registered for it years ago. but the thing is, i can't log into the site although i'm still using the same user ID and password. and since i haven't changed phone number and SMS.ac only allow one phone number to an account, i can't sign up for new account. and i'm too lazy to contact the customer service or something like it of SMS.ac. UNLESS ada orang nak sedekah phone & phone number baru.. hehehe.. kalo phone number je baru taknak.. nak phone baru skali.. hehehe..

thank you.

< end of announcement >

i've been so absent-minded lately..

1. left my car key at the car's door.. this is one of the reasons why i took leave one day before ayah's operation..alhamdulillah, the one who found the key took it home and went looking for the owner later that day..luckily my housemate was at home when they came looking for me, and she took the key on my behalf since i spent my day at the hospital that day.. thanks a lot friend!

2. i had a list of names that i kept to be given to my boss the other day... since i took a few days off last week (due to ayah's condition), she wanted the list to be given on the first day that i came in..i was sure that i had the list somewhere in my office.. i know, somewhere.. so, when i came in, i went looking for it.. but it was no where to be found.. then, i remember, i must have left it at home, since i changed my bag before i went for my off-days.. hmm.. so, i tried my luck to call my housemate (the same one above!), just in case she's still at home.. and she was.. so, i asked if she could find it.. i gave her a specific place to look for, if she didn't find it, then just leave it.. i'll look for it later when i got back.. and she didn't find it.. okay, so i told my boss that i would give the list to her the first thing the next morning...

went back home that day, looking for the list, and it wasn't there!!!

come next morning, as soon as i got to work, i look for it all over my place and suddenly i remembered a folder that i was going through before i left for home the week before.. and it was THERE! need i say more?

3. later that week, i left my mobile phone at home, thinking i had put it in my bag before leaving the house for work..so, when i arrived at the office, doing the usual - switching my computer on, putting away my bag in the drawer, ooppss.. my phone..took out my bag again from the drawer, looking for my phone.. but, it wasn't there! OH, OH! i'm dead.. so, i thought i left it in my car (i drive to work, don't take LRT anymore) so i went back to car park (walking in heels, mind you..) but my phone wasn't in my car.. uwaaaa! the only thing that i got were blisters... ouch! (bukan kasut baru pun!)

when i got back in the office, i tried calling my phone, hoping it was hiding somewhere in my cluttered drawers..but it wasn't there!! luckily, my housemate (the same one, again!) heard my phone ringing and intuitively took my phone to work that day, knowing i must have accidently left the phone home.. how can i ever thank you friend!!

4. (occured on the same day as the above) since i went back to the car to look for my phone, i took my car keys out of my hand bag... when i got back to the office, i put it on the table.. then a colleague tegur the keys, so i put it in the drawers..

work, work, work, work..

then it was time to leave and a friend is following me home.. it was raining... so i went and bought an umbrella and we walked to the car park.. quite far + raining.. i was so upset with myself because we walked that far only to find out that my car keys weren't there.. ARGGGHGGHGGHGH!! not only that, i made my friend walk that far for nothing.. so sorry, mate! nasib baik a colleague of mine still within the vicinity of the office, so he helped me got into my office to get the keys.. why? because my security pass is useless.. anyway, we were too exhausted to walk back to the car, so we took a cab.. 3 ringgit pun 3 ringgit lah...

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? now i'm so paranoid of leaving anything, i checked my bag 2,3 times before leaving the house or car.. make sure everything is there.. car keys, house keys, phones, money, I/C, driving licence.. i'm getting old..

wow...really intermittent one my blog aa... last update, 12 apr.. hmm.. forecast for next update = 30th May lah... hehehe...

well, a lot of things happen during since the last time i wrote.. i dont even know where to start.. the biggest thing ever happened was ayah's bypass operation lah.. i think it was a big deal to me (or my family) coz as far as i can remember, no one in the family (immediate) had undergone an operation this big.. maybe when my sis's c-section for my twin nephews kot.. but i wasn't there, so it didn't really affect me much - all i knew was that she delivered her babies, that's all..

the different thing with ayah's operation, i was sort of involved from the beginning.. well, not really.. sort of.. i was there when he went for check up and when he made an appointment for angiogramme.. and then, went for angiogramme (on April 20th).. we were expecting a one-day admission to the hospital only because after the procedure, the patient can't do anything for one day only.. one day only.. so, we didn't prepare for anything more than that.. material-wise or mental-wise (or was it just me?..)so after the procedure we were visited by the doctor who performed the procedure (who by the way was ayah's ex-student..).. so, he informed us that they have to perform bypass operation on ayah, if possible he didn't want to let ayah went home before the surgery was done.. no angioplasty or stenting (less invasive procedure, with tube and all).. open heart surgery.. it was a very emotional moment after the doctor left, for ayah and us.. but, kena la kontrol hensem kan...

and then my brother and sister went back home to get all the necessities needed to stay at the hospital, while my parents stay at the hospital.. starting from that evening, we (adik-beradik) started to berkampung kat situ.. not really berkampung, we took turns to go to accompany my parents whenever possible.. i went everyday while ayah's stay at the hospital after work.. my duty? laundry.. ;) the least i can do.. because it's a hassle to have loads of clothes kept with you during your stay in the ward.. apart from storage issue, you might have to move beds/rooms depending on your progress/conditions.. so, i came to the hospital daily to take laundry home..

so, ayah's operation's date was confirmed on friday (April 22nd).. i was on EL.. that was another story.. which i'll write later.. it was another emotional moment for us.. now, it was the surgeon who came and briefed us on the procedure that ayah would undergo.. including, the process, what would happen to ayah and the risks during and after the surgery..sometimes, i think it's better for the surgeon not to tell all those to ayah.. coz, my ayah is a very sentimental man.. unlike my mak (at least she doesn't show it on the surface).. but i know, it's the responsibility of the surgeon to do that.. so, after ayah signed the document, it was yet another quiet moment.. he cried quietly.. we all did.. but of course, everyone were very discreet about it.. i hid behind my tinted glasses.. hehe..after that, my sisters and i went to look for things needed in the ICU the next day..

come saturday, he went into the operation theatre without me seeing him first.. coz... erm.. i .. overslept.. so, i was just in time to talk to him on the phone right before he went into the operation theatre.. it was about 7.20 a.m or 7.30 a.m.. isk.. so, he got out to ICU at about 12.15 p.m. and we were allowed to see him in pairs.. the doctors had warned that ayah will be drugged for at least 24 hours after surgery, so don't make him talk...so, we just got in the ward and stood by him.. the visiting hours for ICU is from 12.30 pm- 1.30pm and 6pm - 8pm.. so, each of us spent a couple of minutes or so..

then, he got out to normal wards on sunday late afternoon.. and since then, till he was discharged on saturday i was a permanent after-hour visitor.. coz i had so much to do at the office, i had to leave at 7pm earliest... so i stayed with my parents till 9 to 9.30pm or so everyday... wanna know how? contact me, and i'll tell you how.. :D

for me it was a challenging experience... both mentally and physically.. physically: i start very early everyday.. compared to before, i now wake up around 6 am.. to dry clothes for my parents (as mentioned, i took charge of the laundry).. to prepare to work, so that i arrive early - so that i can leave early (but still i left for the hospital 7pm)... mentally: to be there by your parents and appear that you are strong.. coz they need you to be strong.. especially during emergency situation (happened once).. very hard one.. exceptionally tough if you're the sentimental one.. :D ... to be prepared to care for the sick... very tough and demanding.. but i will survive, insyaAllah..

i'll keep praying for ayah's health..